I don't know what the heart wants

I don't know what my heart wants

I don't know what it yearns for

I don't know what it longs for

well, have you asked it?

have you asked the heart what it wants

what it says doesn't make sense to me

I don't know what to do with that

it says it wants relief

now what am I supposed to do with that

how do I give it relief

it doesn't tell me something tangible

something practical

something physical

some action

some place

some person

like what am I do with

"I want relief"

I don't know how to give it relief

I don't know what that means

I don't know what to do with that

I don't know where to go with that

I don't know what to get for that

I don't know what to look for

I don't know what to search for

I don't know what to even want

so that it feels the relief it longs for

relief from what

have you asked?

no, I was caught up in being mad

it says

relief

from the torment

that happens within me

relief from escaping

relief from the questions

the thinking

the worrying

the running

relief from agendas

conclusions

from doubt

from future predictions

from constant disconnection

from judgments

from pessimism

from the cynic

from the doom that lives in the mind

relief from the lack of faith

from the lack of belief in the goodness of life

from the darkness of the mind

relief from all the bad

that lives within me

from the negativity that is consuming me

relief from not being able to see anything good

relief from the darkness consuming me

the mind is plagued

relief from this disease

the angst

the anxieties

the stress

the deformed sight

the hallow eyes

a relief from this poisoned internal reality

I need to see the truth

the purity of life

and all that is good

I cannot live in the horror of life

I want to see god in the face of man

I want to see goodness all around

I want to love this world

and not wait for it to change

I want relief from these walls

and the doors shut closed

that let no light in, no light out

I need relief from this prison inside

and the serpent that whispers lies

I long for truth

I long for love

I long for light

within me

I want to be hopeful

I want to be alive

I want to breathe it all in

and let it all out

I want to live

and I want to cherish this life

that's what the heart wants

that's what the heart wants.