What we all need is to cry

Pain, suffering and the human condition

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Crying. The very first emotion experienced and expressed by a human who is born onto this earth.

I say I want a different experience but this exact experience is what brings me closer to myself. Only if not resisted but felt. At the first sight of pain, the natural instinct is to wish it away. To not have to feel what it is that we are feeling. To get away from the unpleasantness of it all. The discomfort. The aches in the heart, the heaviness in the body, in the breath. The feeling of something coming up, something being stirred, something resembling something in the past. Something that had been there for a while, waiting for a time, a space appropriate for it be seen, to be felt and to be released from the body where it is trapped.

'Oh I am not happy and I can't seem to feel as happy as I used to.' I have forgotten real joy, I have laughed from the centre of my heart, I haven't felt love like I did when I was foolish and young. With no mind of my own, just a big open heart.

I grew up and I got wiser. I got hurt, I learned my lessons. I know things I never knew before. I understand life like I never did before. I am smarter. But not happy. I seem to have lost the real joy of my heart somewhere along the way. Maybe pieces of it left with the ones I loved once and called mine, my best of friends, soulmates of a time. The ones I shared my laughs with, the ones who held my hand when I needed a friend. The ones who were family outside of my home. The ones also foolish and young.

Life changed, we all moved on. Life became something different. Seprating us, putting us on our own individual ways. Relationships ended, bonds broken. Lives that were intertwined, completely separate from each other. The ones who couldn't live without each other, now don't know where the other lives.

The human bond, the most sacred gift to the human form. On this journey of this soul, we lose a lot. One of the biggest losses is of connection of course. A place becomes special, memories created, life gets its meaning from connection of our souls and we are the source. Our connection, our bonds. Our laughter, our talks. The footprints of where we walked. Where we lived. Where we stood. Maybe hand in hand. Maybe sharing a sight to see a site. The beauty of a place seen together. The places and things we touched. In our relationships, life is life when lived together.

When we share ourselves, when we are with people, when we call someone our own. When we let someone in, when we show our truth, our emotions and our thoughts. Sharing pieces of our selves with another soul and seeing them as whole. That is what is special. A person, a dog, an animal, life living in different forms.

And we lose that in many forms as we grow older. The friends, the cousins, the grandparents, the neighbours, the people who witnessed us growing older from being toddlers. The ones who came in our lives and showed us the different forms of love. The ones who showed us different sides of ourselves. The ones who changed our lives and left. The ones we met for a while and who brought us back.

People. The bonds shared, the relationships, short, narrow, wide or long. A relationship from the heart of any form. It matters. Every single being who enters our hearts matters. They create a room, a space of their own, that's not removable or replaceable. But we lose many souls. That is part of the journey.

The longer we live, the more we love, the more there is to lose. But in the busy-nees of life, there isn't time to grieve these losses so huge. We move on like it's nothing. Yes, it is a part of life, I guess it is normal but it isn't something that can be brushed off like dust from a shoe. The people we encounter, the ones who've seen our heart, they leave a mark.

And it must be felt, this pain that takes a toll on our hearts. We can't smile or laugh the same when we had the ones we once had. It's because we haven't cried the pain out, we haven't felt it and let it all out. The layers of grief from different parts of our lives.

I see eyes that are ready to cry but fully dry. Hearts full of sorrow with doors locked and keys lost. With all that they lost, they lost themselves, the joy, the real laughs. Without relationships we live but we aren't alive.

If there's nothing we can do, if nothing can be done to reconcile the broken bonds. It is essential that we cry out the loss. That we let the pain fall through from our eyes, otherwise we can never love fully again or laugh with our souls and hearts. And we can live and we can accomplish a lot but nothing matters at all.

What we all need is to cry. Cry our hearts into feeling the pain of broken and lost bonds. The places left behind, the lives we lived that are no more, we must cry out all the loss.